Yesterday I was just sitting there on my bed about to start getting ready for the Padres game and all of the sudden I started crying the hardest I have cried since the night Jon broke up with me. I don't know what it was- maybe it was seeing him or just feeling lonely- but it was awful. And then again, all of the sudden, I was fine. I got up out of bed, washed my face, and got ready. Why that hit me so suddenly I have no idea, but it was definitely strange.
About two days ago I was sitting at a park with my cousin and I had an epiphany that made me realize what I really want to do with my life. I had originally wanted to be an art therapist... but it hit me while I was sitting there that I want to study to become a physical therapist for children :) And I am so confident about it, it's amazing.
Also, tomorrow I am going back to Juicy Couture to try and get the job I was offered. I'm so excited :) I don't really buy much from their company and I'm not that much of a girly girl, but it's a good job and I think it could be fun.. so I'm going to go try and get it.
Today I got the chance to talk to my friend Nicole and it really helped me see things differently.. so I decided to move on. To let go of Jon and to move forward with my life. He happened and he was wonderful. I will always look back and smile on the memories that we have together and to be thankful that God sent him to me for that time in my life, but he is gone and I have to be okay with that. I deserve to let him go and to have and enjoy a life of my own. Realizing that I have gotten to this point of officially letting him go and moving on is harder than anything else has been so far... but I am looking forward to what God has in store for me regardless of the walls I have put up.
I don't want to be afraid to love someone other than Jon anymore.. I want to be okay with whatever happens.. and that is what I am working on. To accept anything that happens and to trust God with it.
"God sends us many angels in our life. Some we have to unfortunately let go, but the ones that stay will be the most amazing things in our lives." -an old friend of mine.
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