Thursday, August 9, 2012
Discovering an old blog
I haven't been on this blog in like... 8 months. It's funny to read everything over. Weird in a way, I feel like that wasn't even me.
Because now I am more in love than I thought ever possible. Cole Kerckhoff is the man of my dreams. He loves me more than I thought anyone ever would. He is my angel. Every moment I am with him is the best moment of my life, so every day you see me is the best day of my life. He is the man God wants me to be with, I am sure of it. I know in my heart that this is right.
We celebrate the first 6 months of the rest of our lives together tomorrow.
I am happy.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Fernweh
Fernweh: (noun, org. German) a crave for travel. Homesick for a place you've never been.
Right now, that place is France. I need to be in France. But since that isn't quite in the cards for me at the moment, here's what is:
A road trip with my friend Santi :) him and I are going somewhere Tuesday. Where? We won't know until Monday night. It's just going to be us and our cameras somewhere else where neither of us have been (hopefully). We will probably be taking the train and leaving just for the day, but we are so excited. I'm excited to travel with someone new. I'm excited to get out of this town even just for a day, it'll be a lovely breath of fresh air.
Also, I am so excited for a brand new year :)
Right now, that place is France. I need to be in France. But since that isn't quite in the cards for me at the moment, here's what is:
A road trip with my friend Santi :) him and I are going somewhere Tuesday. Where? We won't know until Monday night. It's just going to be us and our cameras somewhere else where neither of us have been (hopefully). We will probably be taking the train and leaving just for the day, but we are so excited. I'm excited to travel with someone new. I'm excited to get out of this town even just for a day, it'll be a lovely breath of fresh air.
Also, I am so excited for a brand new year :)
Friday, December 16, 2011
You make me think
Sylvia Plath once said, “So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.”
It’s wonderful really, knowing how significant this is for me right now. I am a very reserved person. I feel so strongly about countless things, but I keep it inside. Then someone comes along and typically, I don’t want to open up. I’m afraid of my own emotions. But here we are and what am I doing? Trusting you with my own truth. Why? You ask. You’re intrigued. You aren’t judging me in any way whatsoever. It’s a phenomenal security to not be judged. To have you accept and relate to my answers. To have someone on the same wavelength.
I'll talk to you forever. I can't wait for Tuesday :)
It’s wonderful really, knowing how significant this is for me right now. I am a very reserved person. I feel so strongly about countless things, but I keep it inside. Then someone comes along and typically, I don’t want to open up. I’m afraid of my own emotions. But here we are and what am I doing? Trusting you with my own truth. Why? You ask. You’re intrigued. You aren’t judging me in any way whatsoever. It’s a phenomenal security to not be judged. To have you accept and relate to my answers. To have someone on the same wavelength.
I'll talk to you forever. I can't wait for Tuesday :)
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Consuming thoughts.
One day. That's all it took.
Regardless of what my future holds, I now have a much more positive outlook on what’s to come my way. All because of one day. I don’t know, it’s just weird. I have talked to so many people and I’ve never had anyone open my mind so much. I’ve never experienced someone reading me so well and knowing my personality down to the last detail in the best light in such little time.
Usually stuff like this doesn’t really phase me. I typically don’t like to think about the fact that I’m admired or the reasons why I would be, but this one’s different.
And like I said, regardless of what my future holds my outlook is different and so much more positive now.. because at least I know now that there are people out there like you.
I'm so happy that I've met you.
Regardless of what my future holds, I now have a much more positive outlook on what’s to come my way. All because of one day. I don’t know, it’s just weird. I have talked to so many people and I’ve never had anyone open my mind so much. I’ve never experienced someone reading me so well and knowing my personality down to the last detail in the best light in such little time.
Usually stuff like this doesn’t really phase me. I typically don’t like to think about the fact that I’m admired or the reasons why I would be, but this one’s different.
And like I said, regardless of what my future holds my outlook is different and so much more positive now.. because at least I know now that there are people out there like you.
I'm so happy that I've met you.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Late night musings
One again it had been quite some time since my last post. It's now November and even more had happened and changed since September! As of late I have just been so inspired to work my hardest and do my best when it comes to photography. My film class has been a bit hectic with our projects but for the next one, which is portraiture, I have so many ideas and I do not want to turn in my prints until I am satisfied. And I am already getting so many ideas for my final project, I am so excited!
If you know me well you know that I am quite self conscious about my scars on my back, but my goal for myself this year, honestly, is to get myself to take a self portrait of my back in a beautiful setting with morning or evening light coming in and to turn it in (because my theme for my final project is going to be skin) with confidence and higher self esteem. If I can do that... I will be so happy with myself.
My passion for physical therapy has slightly diminished so I am hoping to find more inspiration from God and my surroundings to know what I want to do with my future. I have always thought that I would love to be a photo or an art teacher at a high school or college, but who knows, God will give me the answer when I'm ready for it.
Music has become such a more prominent part of my daily life in the last few months than it has in the last few years. It is honestly one if my biggest passions and I am just always wanting more and more of it.
One thing that I am currently longing for is my passion for Christ back. I have found myself to be so distant from my faith lately and I just want so badly to have my love for Christ back. Not that I don't love him, of course I do!! But that passion and drive I used to have to learn more and more about his story and about God's purpose for us and love for us is what I need back. Maybe I will start doing personal devotions again :)
I am tired and have class early in the morning so I am off to bed, but pouring out part of my heart felt so good in this post. There is so much more I could say but I will save that for another post :3 I hope everyone is well!!
Hill
If you know me well you know that I am quite self conscious about my scars on my back, but my goal for myself this year, honestly, is to get myself to take a self portrait of my back in a beautiful setting with morning or evening light coming in and to turn it in (because my theme for my final project is going to be skin) with confidence and higher self esteem. If I can do that... I will be so happy with myself.
My passion for physical therapy has slightly diminished so I am hoping to find more inspiration from God and my surroundings to know what I want to do with my future. I have always thought that I would love to be a photo or an art teacher at a high school or college, but who knows, God will give me the answer when I'm ready for it.
Music has become such a more prominent part of my daily life in the last few months than it has in the last few years. It is honestly one if my biggest passions and I am just always wanting more and more of it.
One thing that I am currently longing for is my passion for Christ back. I have found myself to be so distant from my faith lately and I just want so badly to have my love for Christ back. Not that I don't love him, of course I do!! But that passion and drive I used to have to learn more and more about his story and about God's purpose for us and love for us is what I need back. Maybe I will start doing personal devotions again :)
I am tired and have class early in the morning so I am off to bed, but pouring out part of my heart felt so good in this post. There is so much more I could say but I will save that for another post :3 I hope everyone is well!!
Hill
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Let it be.
Wow, I haven't blogged in a while.
It's September 12 and I am laying in bed just thinking.
In five months, I have changed so much. I'm a different person than I used to be; but I am happy. I love where I am in life right now. I may not love having been laid off from my job, but aside from that, I love everything else. School is going well. I have a class with 3 of my friends that I never really got the chance to be close with, and now we're closer than ever. Same with most of those I am friends with now; we never really had the chance to be friends before and now we are all so close. I just truly adore it. I have been getting into film lately and my heart has finally found it's passion. I am in love with film photography. I want to make a career out of it. Oh, I got another tattoo :) The title of this post actually. In cursive it reads, "Whisper words of wisdom, let it be." I am absolutely in love with it.
What else. There is quite a bit but maybe I'll write about it when I'm not so tired.
But for now, here is my update: I'm happy.
It's September 12 and I am laying in bed just thinking.
In five months, I have changed so much. I'm a different person than I used to be; but I am happy. I love where I am in life right now. I may not love having been laid off from my job, but aside from that, I love everything else. School is going well. I have a class with 3 of my friends that I never really got the chance to be close with, and now we're closer than ever. Same with most of those I am friends with now; we never really had the chance to be friends before and now we are all so close. I just truly adore it. I have been getting into film lately and my heart has finally found it's passion. I am in love with film photography. I want to make a career out of it. Oh, I got another tattoo :) The title of this post actually. In cursive it reads, "Whisper words of wisdom, let it be." I am absolutely in love with it.
What else. There is quite a bit but maybe I'll write about it when I'm not so tired.
But for now, here is my update: I'm happy.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
One Hour Wait
This morning I got to work at 8:00(a little cafe about 10 miles from my house). It was okay at first, you know, not too many people. But about 1 hour in we got a crazy rush of people and the wait list for breakfast was over one hour. As we are all going crazy running around, I brought a table their coffee and the man sitting there said, “Oh! eemon!” (of course, that’s not a word. that is how it is sounded out… the real spelling is in Arabic) and he was flat out reading my tattoo! It was really cool considering I haven’t had anyone read it before. So as I was waiting on them, he taught me a few words in Arabic.
Later on, when I turned around to grab the pot of coffee, I looked over at the bar and saw Brian and Adam. Brian and Adam are two of my favorite people in the world. Whenever I see them, my day is immediately 100 times better. They are the sweetest, most genuine guys I have ever known and I love them like family. So, even though I was really busy, I ran over and gave both of them a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. They wanted to know everything that’s new in my life and how summer’s been treating me. They hung out for a few hours… it was nice.
A party of like… 6 came in around 11:00 and they all ordered alcohol, so when I brought it out to them, one of the guys at the table elbowed my tray and all their beer spilled… all down my legs… and soaked into my Toms. Toms. Aka sponge shoes when wet. Yeah it was really nice, my shoes were soaked for the rest of the day and my feet were sticky.
Then, about an hour before I clocked out, our regular Tom yelled my name and held up and envelope. It was a gift certificate… for a 20 minute massage at the massage place next door. Best surprise ever!!! I guess he gives one to everyone that works there every once in a while. He is the best.
On my way home I remembered that I’m supposed to babysit tonight for like 3 hours… and then I got a phone call from they lady I’m babysitting for. But I ignored it because I was driving and called her back when I got home. She told me they wanted to switch nights and have me watch the kids tomorrow night… YES! so stoked. So I showered and now I’m listening to my new Bon Iver record and laying in bed with the windows open knowing I have no where to be. It is phenomenal.
Later on, when I turned around to grab the pot of coffee, I looked over at the bar and saw Brian and Adam. Brian and Adam are two of my favorite people in the world. Whenever I see them, my day is immediately 100 times better. They are the sweetest, most genuine guys I have ever known and I love them like family. So, even though I was really busy, I ran over and gave both of them a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. They wanted to know everything that’s new in my life and how summer’s been treating me. They hung out for a few hours… it was nice.
A party of like… 6 came in around 11:00 and they all ordered alcohol, so when I brought it out to them, one of the guys at the table elbowed my tray and all their beer spilled… all down my legs… and soaked into my Toms. Toms. Aka sponge shoes when wet. Yeah it was really nice, my shoes were soaked for the rest of the day and my feet were sticky.
Then, about an hour before I clocked out, our regular Tom yelled my name and held up and envelope. It was a gift certificate… for a 20 minute massage at the massage place next door. Best surprise ever!!! I guess he gives one to everyone that works there every once in a while. He is the best.
On my way home I remembered that I’m supposed to babysit tonight for like 3 hours… and then I got a phone call from they lady I’m babysitting for. But I ignored it because I was driving and called her back when I got home. She told me they wanted to switch nights and have me watch the kids tomorrow night… YES! so stoked. So I showered and now I’m listening to my new Bon Iver record and laying in bed with the windows open knowing I have no where to be. It is phenomenal.
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