Brilliant!

I have heard so many mixed opinions toward the movie Brokeback Mountain but had never seen it until just now and my goodness, it has to be one of the most brilliant love stories I have ever seen. I could watch it a million times and never get sick of it. Absolutely a huge fan.
Watching movies with Heath Ledger always makes me forget that he passed away especially because of how alive he still is in the way people talk about him and how amazing he was as an actor.
Anyway, I fell in love with the movie and had to write about it!

Sleep?

Do you ever wonder what it is that keeps you awake at night on those nights that you just cant seem to get to sleep? I do.. I think it is strange because, for one, I had a long day. I ran around and played soccer, wrestled with my mom and brothers, walked to downtown Carlsbad for coffee, and shopped around for 4 hours. When I came home from shopping I was so ready for bed.. and yet I am still awake and it is 3:15AM. I watched a movie and usually, I will fall asleep during a movie late at night, but I watched the whole thing without drifting out once. And what am I doing now? Listening to my playlist, texting an old friend, and well, blogging. And I still dont feel sleep creeping up on me.

But I wonder what it is that is keeping me awake. When this happens, I tend to think a lot.. or get really creative and want to draw or paint something. But in this case it was thinking, and I was thinking about some of the people I havent seen or talked to in so long.. One person in particular, lets call him Peter, was on my mind most, just becuase he used to be one of dearest friends and it has been over a year since I have even talked to him. So as I was thinking about how Peter is doing, up pops an instant message from him. Weird. And now we are catching up and sharing stories. These are the kinds of things I wonder about.. Not the cheesy "oh so and so was thinking about me too," but like if I wasnt awake so stinkin late, maybe I wouldnt have been able to catch up with Peter. And it could be anything. Maybe I will all the sudden think of a Bible verse that will mean something, see something on Facebook that I didnt know about lol, maybe I will realize something or get the urge to write, or something like this; being able to catch up with someone I miss.

I dont know why, I just think it is interesting. One thing I am not looking forward to because of my mind not wanting to sleep yet is that I will probably sleep in really late and have a short day tomorrow. Lol.

X Marks the Spot.

X.CALIFORNIA. I have been home now for about 2 weeks and it hasnt been so bad. It has acually been quite fun.
So far I have applied at a few jobs, got a summer job at Juicy Couture, a nannying job starting in 2011, and a possible assistant job in LA for a commercial :)
Last night I went to the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows movie premier and LOVED it! So good. I went with an old friend and we had a very fun time :)
Tonight I get to see my beautiful small group for the first time since September 5th and they are taking me out to a welcome home dinner <3

Oregon is a place that I am absolutely in love with and I know that I will be back someday, but it is all up to God. His plans are much much more powerful than mine and I know that they will bring me happiness. As for now, he has brought me back home to my family and friends who are very important to me and who I am happy to be with.

California Bound, Again.

It sucks when things dont turn out the way planned.. its really sad but at least I know that I gave it a chance. I love Bend so much and I am going to come back, definitely, but Im coming back to Carlsbad and I will start another journey soon. God has a plan for me and I know everything will work out..

Hello, Tenth Avenue North

October 2009, was the month that I was brought back to church, well small groups, and brought back to God; the beginning of a whole new me. Now, I have never been a person to believe that you HAVE to go to church to be a Christian.. because you dont.. and actually, I dont even like to call what I have a religion.. it is a relationship. But, even though I still dont believe that you have to go to church to have faith, after what my small group taught me and how much they loved me, I believe that it definitely helps if you are lost, like I was. Of course, it took me time to grow and accept that I needed God and I was nothing without him. January 2010, I went to winter camp with my church which is the exact moment I realized everything.. from then on, my life was for God.. about two weeks after camp, my friend Emily let me borrow a CD of a band I had never heard of.. their name was Tenth Avenue North. I listened to that CD every time I got in my car even if it was a drive down the street. Each song I memorized because of the beauty of their words and the amazing understanding they have of God. Their words changed my understanding of God and brought me closer to Him every day. This was my church.. since church can and should be everywhere, not just in a building.
Well, I fell in love with this band but eventually had to give the CD back. Haha. So since I didnt have it, I would just sing their music as I was driving. Ever since the first time I heard their music, I wanted to see them live. I heard thet they were playing somewhere nearby on Mother's Day this year, but of course it was the day before Mother's Day when I heard it on the radio and the concert was 5 hours away... so that wasnt going to work..
I went on a few mission trips out of the country months later and my relationship with God grew that much more.. it grew for the world rather for music. As September began creeping around the corner, I started packing everything that I owned to move to Oregon for college.. and I wasnt sure if I would be able to find a church like the one I had fallen in love with in San Diego.
One month into living in Bend, Oregon, I go online and contact my old church to see it they had any recommendations for churches here in Bend and that email ended up in the inbox of one of my small group leaders! So she does some research and sent me the links of 3 church websites. One stood out to me most- Christian Life Center, which was about 10 minutes down the road from my house.
So I go to the website where they have a little slide show of events on the home page.. slide two was a picture of a band who would be playing on October 21, 2010.. it was Tenth Avenue North.. umm.. WOW?!
So the morning of the 21st, I wasnt sure if I had the money to go, but I decided to go anyway and not worry about it because of how much it meant to me.
We get to the concert, get the very last parking spot available after circling the parking lot 3 times, I get out of my car and reach into my wallet for the $20.. and it is not there. Turns out I only had $14 and they dont take credit cards.. CRAP. So we walk up and see maybe God will get us in.. they wont take $14.. so I turn around and a guy is standing in front of us and says he has two extra tickets and he would sell them to us for whatever we had.. WOW! I love him. Haha.
Well.. I dont like listening to opening bands, so we walked around aimlessly and went around to the back of the building where all of the tour busses were and all band equipment unsupervised. We look over to a tour bus and a girl jumps out and walks over to the building.. we didnt know who she was.
So we go back inside to go to the bathroom where they had some decently comfortable couches.. so we sat there for no reason. The door opens and the girl that we saw hop out of the tour bus walks in and we talked and laughed with her about us just sitting there, still not knowing who she was.
She leaves and goes out to the main room and about a minute later we hear a crowd screaming for a band..Tenth Avenue North?!?!?! No.. Addison Road! And there was the girl from the tour bus and the bathroom standing on stage as the singer of the band. "Hey! Thats the girl from the bathroom!!" Hahaha..

Then Tenth Avenue North after them.. and we were there standing as close to the stage as we were aloud, right in front of the band. And yes, they were more amazing as I had hoped :)

week 3

Well, here I am! I have been in Oregon for 3 weeks now, and I am doing great!! Here are 10 things I have accomplished so far being here:

1.) Applyed at 4 or 5 Starbucks locations, another coffee place, a few grocery stores, a restaurant, Barnes and Noble, Pier 1 Imports, and World Market.
2.) Finished all of my most recent photo-shoot photo editing and sent off the CD's.
3.) Made a plan for another shoot for my friends children at a local park in the fall.
4.) Became a math tutor for a friend.
5.) I have MOST of my room organized. The rest is in need of a dresser/desk.
6.) Bought myself a laptop.
7.) Decided on a career that I am in love with and that needs more attention.. which means I know what classes I will be aiming for in college when I start up this next year.
8.) I have been walking at least 4 times a week with Grace.. on long walks. Im talking like 3-5 miles per walk :P haha. Which are ALL within 5 minutes from my house.
9.) Been staying on top of my money and finances, done devotions EVERY night to keep my faith on track and to keep it strong, and have stayed in contact with everyone!
10.) Crochetted a BACKPACK! Super cute. Love it. AND managed to get all of my friend/family birthday cards in the mail.

Oh and Im going to go get a library card this afternoon after I finish tutoring in math.

Woooo!!!! Well I am officially proud of myself.

The one thing I have not done yet is skyping in with my amazing small group whom I love and miss soo much!! But Im hoping to skype in tonight.. I just have to remind my small group leader to bring her laptop..

And, I have absolutely fallen in love with Bend. I love it here. The people are so friendly, the weather has been beautiful, it IS beautiful here and I love the atmosphere of the town. :D

Yay<3

A new journey, the same me.

I have always dreamed of going to college in another state to experience a new place.. and well.. I leave in 2 days for Oregon!!!!

The weeks all seemed to go by incredibly slow, but the last few days are flying by so fast! Craziness. Reality hit me when I started packing up my room.

I have grown so much just this past year and I feel like this is the perfect time for me.

Exactly one year ago, I didnt know who I was. I had low self esteem, I was anorexic, but I thought in some way that I was happy. News flash to that girl: youre not happy. Then in October, I went to my best friends sweet 16 birthday, saw an old friend, and we started dating. Whether I knew it at the time or not, that was exactly the time that I began to grow; he brought me to church where I met the most incredible small group of junior girls that I have ever known. Now before this, I did not want to know God, I didnt want to have faith, and I never wanted to hear about it. But God used this guy to bring me to church where He would use these girls to bring me back to Him. And that He did. I believe that the purpose of my relationship with that old friend was to bring me back to God, and when I got to the point where all I wanted was to strive for Him, that would be the end of the relationship so that I could truely only want and be satisfied with God alone.
I have never in my life been happier than I am now with God.
It has gotten to the point where I dont even recognize that girl in the early months of 2009. My relationship with God only continues to grow and that is why I think this is a perfect time for me to start a life in Oregon.

I cant wait for college :D


Woooo!!! <3

Ecuador

We were at the airport Saturday morning, July 17, when we found out that our flight was delayed 3 hours which would make us miss our connecting flight in Bogota, Columbia. So we were comped hotel rooms for one night for us so that we could then make a flight the next morning. After settling into our rooms at the orphanage, we went down to go play and meet the kids. None of them spoke any English, which was a huge language barrier for 8 of us on the team. But regardless, the children loved us and we loved them as well.
In the mornings, our main project was supposed to be putting in a water line, but that didnt work out, so instead, we redesigned a house that had been burned down(the walls are cement, so just their posessions were burned). We worked on the house every morning from 9:00AM until about 12:00PM. After lunch at 12:30,we would go down and do an art project with the children. There were 140 kids total at the orphanage of all ages, so there were many projects to continuously work on.

After about a week of being there, I had picked up a ton of basic Spanish, thank goodness, because the language barrier was really making me sad.

The first Thursday that we were there, we went on a hike up a 10,500 ft hill, starting at about 8,500 ft up already. Our goal was to make it to the top to the 90 ft lightning rod cross. When we were leaving, a few of the kids at the orphanage decided that they wanted to come as well, which was a blessing because we hadnt had a chance yet to bond much with the kids our age. So we made our way up the mountain... it ended up being about a 2 hour hike. Of course the elevation effected our breathing, but the kids from the orphanage were used to it, so they made fun of us most of the time :P

Later that night when we got home, we got to experience our first church service for the youth. It was amazing to experience especially to see how excited all of the kids were and how wholeheart they are for God.

Sunday after another church service, some of us went up the the soccer feild at the orphanage and watched our boys at Foundation Davis play against some boys in town. So much fun! And one little girl brought us a bunch of fresh oranges that were bright green on the outside and delicious!

That week we finished sanding and washing the walls of the house, so we finally got to start paining! By the end of the week, the house looked like someone would move in.. it was so amazing to see the work that we did. We continued falling in love with the kids every day which was going to make it harder to leave..

The children at the orphanage gave us a new perspective on life. I expect every mission trip from here on out that I go on will do the same thing. They are such a beautiful people in Ecuador and we really miss them. But leaving, we felt a feeling of accomplishment making the house look so wonderful, working for God, and falling in love with these kids that are the sweetest things you will ever meet. <3

The End of Chapter One!

Today is... GRADUATION DAY!!!

Man, it's so weird to think of having no more work for high school.
Of course there is always college, but that's not the same!!
Im soo excited!!

Congratulations Class of 2010! <3

Yum! Yay!

I love my friend, Amy! Look at what she made me tonight for my first small group night back from Fiji!



And it was totally vegan and gluten free. She is the best!!

After small groups, a few of us were talking about the upcoming Ecuador mission trip that I had not been planning on going on due to money, and everyone was encouraging me to go! Of course I would love to go, but I wasnt sure money wise. Amy brought up that maybe I could get a scholarship of some sort to help me with the funds, so she encouraged me to ask Rudy about it. So I go online to email her and guess what! Rudy had already sent me an email asking if money werent an issue, if Id like to join the team and go to Ecuador!! We all just about had heart attacks! Amazing. God works in incredilbe ways. Lets see where He takes me with this :)

Fiji 2010

We landed in LA on Sunday at 1:00pm from Fiji.. and man was it crazy to see the differences in culture. I freaked out.

The trip was amazing. I never thought I would have the chance to be a part of such a beautiful culture, even if it was for just two weeks. I wish I were still there.. I loved it so much.

For the last two weeks, we were at Homes of Hope: what this ministry does is it rescues young mothers who have been in different sexually abusive situations and helps them gather their lives back together and teaches them how to become in control of their lives and be responsible for themselves and their children.

Our first project was digging and building "shelves" on the side of a hill where there had been a mudslide to put up cages of rocks to prevent future mudslides. Our second project was to line those shelves with the cages of rocks. And our third project was to mechete down a hillside so that they could put in a drain and to plant some different kinds of trees to produce fruit(I think he said lemons and limes??) Aside from those projects, we worked in the nursery, kitchen, clinic, schools and the bead room, and our guys, Anthony and Joe, taught music to the kids and a song to the mothers.

We bonded so well with all of the moms and being there really tought us to simplify our lives and to focus on what is really important: our relationship with God.

Today...

I leave for Fiji in 16 hours... its so weird to think about.
But Im absolutely amazing to see where God is taking me.
He wants me to be there, no doubt. My knees dont hurt. Im not in pain.
Im not sick or in any condition impairing my trip.
God is amazing. I cant wait to see what He has in store for me.

Please keep my team and I in your prayers as we are on our way tonight and as we are over there for the next 2 weeks. :)

Go God!!

7 days left to go until I am where God is sending me.
3 days ago, I was $950 away from having all of my funds, as of this morning, I was $675, and as of tonight I am about $400 away from being completely funded!! :D
God is promising me this trip. Our trip. And it is no doubt going to change my life.

So excited!
Thank the Lord!
:)

10 days...

10 days left of God preparing my heart.
10 days left of God opening my eyes and my heart to what is important in life.
10 days left of God showing me my place in the world.
10 days left until I am in it. In the place that He is calling me to be.
Until I am experiencing a whole different world first hand. Until He changes me.

Iron Girl!

What did I do with my Saturday? I ran the 5k Aflac Iron Girl race with Emily and Laura!
I'm proud of us for a few reasons.
1.) We woke up at 5:00 in the morning to go run a race.
2.) We actually RAN it!
3.) Emily got surgery in September on her knee, couldn't bend it until November, couldn't bend it pas 45 degrees until February, and today she ran a marathon!! That's amazing!
My knees have always hurt and have been an issue, and its been really bad lately to the point where I was using an imoblizer brace, crutches, or a small brace and I wasn't able to run without skrewing them up.. and today I gunned it and they were fine!!
4.) Laura is amazing because she has lost 150+ pounds and is doing so great!! She got announced at the race for being a success story :D

We had so much fun today!

God is AMAZING!

Culture Diversity.

These last few days I have been an emotional wreck over things like discrimination and even us taking what we have for granted. I have been hearing so much lately as well that has to do with these things. This morning was probably the worst of it all, but this is what I discovered through it:

1.) With going to Fiji in 3 weeks, we have been talking a lot about manerisms and social differences. One of the things that stood out to me most was the fact that the term "fat" in Fiji is a complement. When someone calls you fat, they are saying you look healthy and that you are successful enough to feed yourself. When we Americans think of fat, we think of unattractive or unhealthy or what not... Do you see where I am going with this? Some girls are so skinny that when they get one little buldge in their stomach, they think they are fat, and it's the end of the world. Now don't get me wrong, I struggle with this too. But all in all, it's just sad. Why? Because there are some people in this world who would die to have a buldge in their stomach..called FOOD. We have food. We have the easiest access to food imaginable. And yet if we eat too much of it, we get sad. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and thought, "Ugh.." and then I started to break down. Not because of my reflection, because I realized.. "How could I be so selfish?" I am blessed.

2.) While getting ready for work this morning, I was looking at my shoes for a pair to wear because the ones I always wear to work I had to throw away due to rain. I thought to myself, "I have no shoes to wear!" Once again, I broke down. I don't cry a lot.. ever. So this was an eye opener for me. Some people don't even have one pair of shoes. Who taught us to be so selfish? Why is it so "natural" for us to feel we need so many things?

3.) We are so blessed to have what we do. We have more than some people could ever imagine having. Sometimes, I think that we have way too much. One thing we don't have, though, is culture. Our busy, busy schedules, daycares, iphones, televisions, radios, computers, etc., block us from having a culture. When Americans look at other countries like Fiji or Ecuador, they think that they need help and that we need to cure them of something.. But what most don't notice is that there is nothing to be cured. They are happy. Even the girls who were rescued from sex trade are happy and have so much love to share. And us having "everything".. are happy? No.. not in the same way. Other cultures are content. We think that we have to have more to be happy.. why?

I guess what I realized, in a nutshell, is that we have so much and it truely is sad how much we take for granted. Next time you think about something that you wish you had and get upset that you don't have it, think about what you DO have. I am going to try and do the same. Look at yourself as a child of God. We are all so beautiful and we are way too hard on ourselves.. Think about how God sees you. He sees you as the most beautiful being. Every one of us.. Why is that? Because it is true.

We are blessed.

Baby animals.. a girls best friend :)

Today one of my best friend's boyfriend found a baby opossum on the side of the road and brought it home.. we started off by wrapping him in towels and giving him half&half when he was weak and couldn't move... and now he is the cutest and most fun little thing! I love him :)

17...

Yesterday was my 17th birthday!! It was probably my favorite birthday so far. For breakfast/tea, 2 of my best friends, mom, grandparents, aunts and cousins met in Leucadia at The Pannikin, my favorite coffee shop. After everyone left, Natalie, my mom and I went shopping around Encinitas to little boutiques, shops and the Bizarre and got a drink at E Street Cafe =]
Later on, Nat and I went to visit Leesh at work.. and she bought me a really cute wallet =]
THEN Nat and I went to see The Last Song at the movies but were 15 minutes early.. so we visited my friend Dylan for a few minutes down the street. =]
My friend Emily was up north this whole week and wasnt supposed to come home until tomorrow.. but surprised me with coming home yesterday! So.. that added to the great day.

All together.. I loved my day. Yay birthdays <3

Power Trippers

Saturday, March 13th- Sick with food poisoning, cant walk, cant hear. Request next weekend off due to meeting in Visalia.

Friday, March 19th- Call work to get phone numbers of cashires to cover weekend for me. Boss fips a B.

Thursday, March 25th- Go into work to grab schedule for this weekend and get paycheck. Appologize to boss about the weekend. She walks away from me. Schedule says that I work Saturday from 9-3. Awesome.

Saturday, March 27th-
So I go into work this morning for my scheduled shift at 9:00 and went in the back to clock in. I realized I didnt have my schedule for tomorrow so I went upstairs to get it. The note on the schedule board reads, "Cashires, pick your own schedule week!" Umm... okay. But no schedule for tomorrow, huh? I went downstairs and asked Sarah what that was all about and she explained. I also asked about the schedule for tomorrow and how it was not posted. Supposedly, we ran out of copies so we called the head manager..
Sarah: "Hey.. your name is crossed off on the break list... did you call in?"
Me: "No, I didnt.. I had last weekend off because I had a big meeting in Vicalia.."
My manager came down and was confused.
John: "Did you call in? Your name is crossed off the schedule with Lana's initials next to it. She got your shift covered for you... ?"
Me: "No.. I came in on Thursday to get my schedule and it said I worked today and I talked to Lana about it."
John: "Im sorry about that.. but you dont work today. I would call Lana later on."

Fired? I think so. Most unfortunate news...

Our Mission

I am in a small group of 8 of the most amazing girls I have ever known! They are like sisters to me and have changed me so much over the course of the last 6 months.
We have been working to save orphans since about November, and so far we have saved 4 beautiful children that deserve true homes. The children we are raising money for usually have Down syndrome or other disabilities. But really.. it's not such a "disability" of you really get to know and fall in love with someone who has it. We have fallen in love with these little children that we have never met but work so hard to save. We are doing this through and for God and for the children that deserve homes and it brings us so much joy.
From November to about mid January, we were raising money for an adorable little Down syndrome girl named Anna. We got the word out pretty fast and within a few months, raised over $1,000. Through Amy's blog, many heard about our story. Anna was adoptepd in February 2010 and is now on her way to a new loving home. Thank the Lord!!
We are now working on saving for this little boy named Jacob. If you are interested in donating, please contact me via email! hillgrace04@yahoo.com

Fiji

I got the incredible opportunity to go on a mission trip to Fiji to help young moms! So I have been working on finding way to raise money and I also sent out letters to friends and family asking for prayer and donations. Today I sent out some more letters and passed some out at work to regular customers and such. So far I have learned that I have to completely put this in God's hands. If I am meant to go then He will get me there!

My small group leader, Amy, her husband Andrew, and I went up to Vicalia this weekend for my first meeting for the trip. I got to meet my team and we had such an awesome time. I can't wait!