patience is a virtue

So it has been 4 ridiculously long days of waiting to hear from the one person that I cannot imagine losing. Today though, I came to the conclusion that life doesnt like to follow your personal schedule. Something that Jon always told me was that patience is a virtue. Ive heard that my whole life, but never have I had it be more clear to me that it really does apply to day-to-day life.

This whole thing with Jon is teaching me a lot.
One: I need to learn to trust. I trust Jon with my life, but as soon as this situation came about, I began doubting that I mean enough to him; but what I realized from thinking that is that if Jon were to know that I was doubting how much I mean to him, he would probably be really upset that my mind would even go there. So I need to stop doubting and start trusting.

Two: I need to learn patience. I need to be patient with Jon. I know that he is going through a lot right now and that he needs his time to think and look at the bigger picture. I know that talking to each other is the only way to get through this, but by putting myself in his shoes, I realized that I would want a few days to think too and that I would hope that Jon would be patient with me. And this is another place where trust comes in: I need to trust that my patience is only going to make this better.

And Three: Reality freaking sucks, so I know how Jon must feel right now. He likes for things to be easy and finding out that he has to re-take his classes over the summer completely goes against the idea of things being easy. Of course, hes not the only one though. I have to take an english class this summer as well and Lord knows that no one is excited to take summer classes. I understand him, I know where he is coming from. We wanted a fun summer to ourselves. We wanted to enjoy being together and having the summer off together, but reality decided to smack us in the face and tell us that its not going to be that easy. Work and school are going to consume our time, and that is not a fun thought. But I want to do this together, who would want to do that alone without someone to help motivate you? We are both in the same boat and we can help motivate each other. This is where we fight reality. We can make it enjoyable just like we did for the spring semester and I hope we can do for the semesters to come.

So anyway, to wrap this up, I am more relaxed today. I had a final this morning for my statistics class and I got to school a few hours early to study with a couple friends. This final was ridiculous, it would either make or break my grade in the class, so I was forced to take my mind off of Jon. All I thought about was studying, memorizing formulas, rules, reasons and ideas that would help me pass this exam. The final took me a little under 2 hours to finish and honestly, I think I did pretty well. 10 hours of studying yesterday and 2 hours this morning paid off, at least I hope. So now that this semester is over, Im trying to enroll in my english class for the summer. My final this morning really helped me clear my head and allowed me to focus on everything else, which is helping me be patient with Jon. Im willing to wait for him because he is worth it and waiting is no longer holding me back from anything.